He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
