we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
