he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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