I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
