You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
