Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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