I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
