this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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