Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
