remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
there is glitter all over my balls
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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