you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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