what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
