she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
