Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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