you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
