porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
