He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
