You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
