Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
