Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
