im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
