My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
