I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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