I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
