Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
