Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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