Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Randomize
