OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
