having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
