he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
