Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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