I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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