Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
