Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
