Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
thus making me awesome and them whores
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
