It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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