so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
this boner is exhausting
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
