does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
