No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i need to put some appletini on your dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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