She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
