oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
