we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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