In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
