Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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