my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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