We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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