Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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