hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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