She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
