If that was your dad, he is hot
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
